546. Power

Image result for powerless images“I feel powerless and helpless”, she said. “My dreams confirm it. I can’t lift a glass of water or even stand up. Evil attackers come after me and the kids, but I don’t know how to shoot my husband’s gun. I’m paralyzed. I tell the kids to run to safety as I try to figure out the handgun. My car flies off the road into an abyss, and I am remarkably calm, at ease. I don’t have to fight for control any longer. My situation has taken total control of my powerlessness. It’s not suicidal dreaming; rather it is soothing to feel the release of responsibility’s pressure. I can float care free.”Image result for car driving off cliff gif

“Your unconscious can be telling you something here, you know. Something wise and good.”

“Like what?”

“Stand up, for instance. To whom or for what would you need to stand up?”Image result for standing gif

“Oh, that’s easy. My father in law. He’s such a wild squirrel in our house. He watches the right wing news and yells at the developments they cover. It’s all bad to me. I can’t watch the news. ”

“So you need to stand up to your father in law? And maybe stand up to the world of the news.”

“I can’t. All the shootings and chaos paralyze me. I have no control. For years now the house work has been out of my control, and my kids are getting there too.”Image result for scared faces gif

“How about the glass of water you can’t lift? Does anyone in your house leave glasses sitting around for you to pick up?”

“Are you kidding? Like everyone– my husband, my kids, my father in law. Always. It makes me crazy.!”

“In your dream you can’t pick up one glass of water. We know in reality that you can lift a glass, but your dream says you can’t or that you should be able to. You get anxious that you can’t.” Image result for weak hands lifting a glass gif

“Yeah, that’s enlightening. Weird too. You’re getting a lot more out of my dreams than I am.”

“Well, I believe in the unconscious as a deeper, wiser level of self that shows us powerful images and symbols with intense feelings attached. Symbols are dense communication. Vivid dreams and repetitive ones strike me as the unconscious insistently knocking on the door to our conscious reality. Will you answer the door?”Image result for gothic door knocking gif

“I don’t know what to do. How to gather up control and be powerful…”

“You equate control with power. Define power.”

“It’s being in control.”

“But control of what? Chaos?”

“Yes, chaos is disorder. Control is order. Order is power, I guess.”

“Nice linkage. Did you know that chaos meant gas in Greek?”Related image

“No, I’m not a word nerd like you.”

“I’ll choose to take that as a tortured compliment. Anyway, harnessing a gas, propane or gasoline or steam, leads to power. And harnessing is essentially controlling the thing in the harness. In the process you extract or direct the energy in the harnessed thing.”Image result for harnessed horses gif

“I can follow that with my housework, but not my kids…”

“Well, they have lots of energy, right?”

“Tons, no, megatons.”Image result for nuclear mushroom cloud gif

“Okay, you harness their energy by providing order, structure, rules, pro-social values.”

“I don’t feel like I’m harnessing anything. I feel like I’m running behind a pair of huskies that got off the leash.”Image result for dogs running away gif

“Nice. You are reactive and can’t catch up.”

“Yeah, it was a lot easier when they were little.”

“Sure. Two hundred years ago we harnessed water power to run saw mills and grist mills. The natural stream mechanically powered a big wheel that ran an axle into the mill, converting water’s energy into a wheel’s energy via the harness.”Related image

“When the kids were little, that’s all I needed was a millstream next to my little stone cottage. [Deep breath.] Life was safer and slower and easier then, like an old oil painting.”

“Charming, but kids are a moving target. Once you have them potty trained, you need to train them not to bite and hit. Then you have to train them not to run in front of cars or run away to play hide and seek at the clothes store. Then they’re in school and you’re getting them adjusted to first grade. When you turn around, they’re in third grade doing fractions and you’re wondering why you can’t recall second grade.”

[Tears.] “I feel I’m missing so much of their lives and I’ll never get this time back.”

“Yes, but rolling around in a depressed state is not getting you caught up to speed with their rapid growth.”Image result for acorn growing time lapse gifImage result for acorn growing time lapse gif

“I worry about them all the time.”

“You’ve done a good job of meeting their needs so far, right?”

“I guess so. They are good kids.”

“And you are their biggest role model.”

“They say their biggest nag.”

“Good kids don’t just drop off the tree of good citizenship. You have molded them into goodness.”Image result for human face molds in clay pictures

“Okay, but now I feel they are beyond my control, my power.”

“Don’t underestimate your power.”

“What power?”

“The mom card. You drive them. You have the money. You have the rules and authority. You have wisdom and experience and love and affection.”Related image

“I never thought of those things as power.”

“Well, now you can. Ultimately you want to empower your kids to share control with you, to pick up their chores and self control, do their school work independently, drive themselves, pay for their own stuff.”

“I can’t see that far ahead. Actually, I don’t want to. I want things to stay the way they were when I was large and in charge.”

“Hmmmm. You want to crawl into that oil painting of the mill cottage next to the singing stream?”

“I know it’s a fantasy world. I just get so sad that life moves so fast. I can’t keep up.”Image result for oil painting of mill by stream

“Okay, but you can’t live in this in between place that is neither now or the past. You are like an undelivered letter at the post office… unread, unrealized, unpotentiated.”

“So I need to harness the power, channel the energy around me?”

“Yep. Get turbo charged.Related image