731. The Editorialist


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Conservative columnist Scott Jennings wrote an article the other day for CNN called “Why Trump Is Still Winning”. He makes the ridiculous argument that because “global elites” are laughing at Trump at NATO, Trump’s disaffected base will simply ooze more affectionately for their little boy blue. He makes a point of separating out the Us vs. Them, with the THEMS being liberal Democrats whom he magically casts as all those immature cool kids in middle school. [News flash Scott: there are no cool kids in middle school. I served in exile there for 23 years, from Michael Jackson gloves to Gothic emo’s to Aeropostale shirt stardom. There are no cool kids in middle school. Just go and visit if you can even get inside these barricaded bunkers of emerging adolescence nowadays.]

Image result for wizard of oz screen imagesIn making such a wild comparison, Mr. Jennings is maybe the greatest illusionist since the Wizard of Oz. He has projected the biggest bully this country has ever known as the helpless victim of elitism abroad and at home. The very same clown who brags about going to the best schools and owning the best accommodations known to mankind (i.e. practicing elitism) is now the victim of those other elites he chased after like a dog in heat.  Who can forget his butt sniffing bromance with Macron and his big parade envy? “All those fire hydrants but so little time.” He goes on to say that all this (well earned) mockery and ridicule of Trumpzilla is proof, not of what a clown Trump is, but of how he is shaking up the elitists, those entrenched intellectuals who won’t let Deplorables sit at their lunch table.Image result for trump mocked on snl 12/7 images

Jennings’ illusion is comparable to the fictional transformation of a slightly daffy, weak fortune teller, Professor Marvel, into the Magnificent Wonderful Wizard of Oz in the movie we all know and love. The problem outside of Hollywood is that you can’t have it both ways, Scott. Trump’s campaign cast him as a Caesar, Conan, or Thor who could not be bought or corrupted because of his wealth, brilliance, and power. Campaign Trump was an all-powerful wrecking ball who was going to do bigly things– Build The Wall, Drain The Swamp, Lock Her Up, Make America Great. He was the Strong Man who would whip the world into shape through sheer will and wit.  He didn’t need no stinking Congress or the judiciary. He would rule like a super Raptor in the presence of park pigeons.Image result for trump as bald eagle images

But Scott, here’s where your fakery splats like a raw egg on concrete. Once poor Baby Donnie got elected, his wittle feelwings got hurt and we were all supposed to feel sorry for him. Those damn Dems were trying to strangle Baby Hercules in his crib, so the Fox News propaganda went. One conspiracy led to the next, as truth was subverted again and again. Why couldn’t the Wall be built? And the Swamp drained? And Hillary locked up? There had to be a Super Villain to balance the Hero/Victim. And so, like Richard Nixon and Joe McCarthy before him, Donnie Boy’s spin machine went on a wild snipe hunt to explain away his failures. Oh, Lex Luthor, where art thou? Elite cabals of rich Ivy Leaguers, old money, deep staters had to be the kryptonite behind Donnie’s complete ineffectiveness. It couldn’t possibly be that his litttle tyrannosaurus rex hands were too small to hold the reins of democracy.Image result for desperate trump images

Trump can either be the pathetic little man in the projection booth or the pompous strong man on the screen, but he cannot be both.  The headlines either read “Trumpy Shakes Up The Elites” or “The Elites Shake Up Trumpy”. To bound back and forth like a game of political ping pong is intellectually dishonest. As the Wizard, Trump tasked others to go do the hard work of bringing back the Wicked Witch of the West’s broom stick while he reclined in the Emerald City of Illusions, aka, the White House or Maralago. And when the troops he did not fire completed the heavy lifting, they gained access to his narcissist nest, where he sat playing video games like a 10 year old emperor of Fortnite, only it was Twitter.Image result for addicted gamer kid gif

“Ignore that man behind the curtain!”  shouts the angry green face from the screen. “Loyalty is very important to me. I’ll sue you all. Just watch me. I’m the victim here, uh, well, uh. Okay, you caught me.”  When all the manipulations are done, Oz is defeated by a girl and her little dog. But that is Hollywood.Image result for dorothy and toto images

In real life when the Wizard of Trump is caught, he just lies louder and faster, knowing full well that 40% of the electorate will fall into his hypnotic cadences and march in a zombie army of ignorance, or winkies, wherever he dictates.

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And so, Scott Jennings, you have to choose your Trump. Is he the Great and Powerful to be feared and obeyed by elitists? Or is he the petty and pathetic, to be mocked by the same elitists? My money is on the little man in the most expensive soul toll booth ever known.

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