697. The Leader of the Pack


I have been remiss, my faithful blog readers. I have ignored the high adventures of Joel for too long. I got carried away with all the Italy coverage and abandoned my Holy Mockery of Joel Ministry, HMJM.org if you would like to donate. All gifts are not tax deductible nor a good idea. I repent and will try to do better. Strangely enough, Joel was in Italy about the same time that we were. However, he rolls with a different socio-economic crowd. His peeps sailed on a huge luxury sailboat from Malta to Sicily to Positano to Rome. We just missed one another in Palermo, Catania, Pompeii, and Rome. He claimed no cell service, but I know the real reason: he did not want his top shelf friends to meet me, his coffee shop boyfriend. Sad but true. Joel is a shallow elitist that way.d06ecef41a9edf1a486279a6b13e-post (Custom)

Now back at Coffee Central we shared our Italy stories with one anther. The flames of memory continued to burn and flicker. We are not really a couple, just for the record. I simply enjoy antagonizing him and he seems to enjoy the beatings. I mean he still falls for the fake handshake trick where I drop my outstretched hand as he comes in to shake mine. Not once, not twice, no… three times in a row! It’s Lucy and Charlie Brown and the football kick all over again.Related image

But the other day we were jawing on about when he is going to pass to the Great By and By and leave me his Spyder motorcycle. I am not getting any younger, you know. He told me I was in the running for it. “Don’t play with my avaricious heart, Joel. You could just settle it now at the notary’s and give me the key.”

“I, I just don’t think I’m ready to do that. I have some more rides left in me.”Image result for man riding a spyder motorcycle images

I countered, “I don’t want a lot of miles on the Spyder, Joel. So try to limit your distance to under 5,000 miles per year, which is plenty since you mothball it over the six winter months we experience in Pennsylvania.”

“I’m not sure you understand the concept of possession and legal ownership.”

“I may not be a pinstriped attorney like you, Joelseppe, but I have a napkin contract somewhere back in my office papers that is as good as any title. Don’t you remember you told me you loved me, baby? Said you’d be coming back this way again maybe? With a Spyder?”

“You seem to be confused.”

“Ahem… I also have some incriminating other things, like Michael Cohen things, that our friend David Pecker might want to publish. You know what I’m saying now, Joel? Huh? I can’t hear you.”Image result for michael cohen sweating pictures

“You wouldn’t. You set me up to autograph that paper coffee cup years ago in a frivolous moment. You can’t possibly use that against me. Have you no decency? No conscience? No integrity?”

“Joel, have you no memory. I have only antagonized you for the past 8 or 9 years. What did you expect?”

“Please, I have a reputation, a family, a business in this town. Don’t do this to me, Burrito.”Image result for anthony hopkins photos from silence of the lambs

“Now, that’s more like it, Joel. Now that we have set the atmosphere, let’s set the terms of the transfer…”

“But, but it’s MY SPYDER!!! I won’t be extorted into any agreement with you, you mad man!!”

“Joel, you don’t have to get all loud and possessive. You watched The Godfather many times, didn’t you?”

“Yes, it’s a classic movie that holds up well over time.”

“You remember the movie director who insulted Don Corleone and cursed Tom Hagen, the consigliere?”Related image

“Who could forget the horse’s head scene.”

“Good, good. Well, I’d hate to have you wake up some early morning with just the Spyder’s handlebars and dash display in your bloody hands.”

“You wouldn’t!! Would you? No, you would.”

“Think hard on this one, Joel. If I have to go to the mattresses, I will.”Image result for tom hagen being insulted by movie director in godfather 1

“Oh, what have I done. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten mixed up with the Coffee Shop Mafia. Can’t you do something for old time sakes, Burrito?”

“Joel, you broke my heart.” Cue up the Shangri-las…

Mm–“Is he really going out with him?
“Well, there he is, Let’s ask him”
“Burrito, is that Joely’s ring you’re wearing?”
“Mm-hm”
“Gee, it must be great riding with him”
“Is he picking you up after work today?”
“Mm-mm”
“By the way, where did you meet him?”Image result for james dean motorcycle gif
“I met him at the coffee shop
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture
“Yes, we see”
That’s when I fell for the leader of the pack, Vrrroom VrrrooomRelated image
“My friends were always putting him down, down, down
They said he came from the wrong side of town
They told me he was bad but I knew he was sad
That’s why I fell for the leader of the packImage result for james dean motorcycle gif
“One day my wife said find someone new
I had to tell my Joely we’re through
He stood there and asked me why, but all I could do was cry
I’m sorry I hurt you, the leader of the pack
Do do doRelated image
“He sort of smiled and waved me good bye
The tears were beginning to show
As he drove away on that rainy night,
I begged him to go slow, whether he heard,
I’ll never know Look out! Look out! Look out! (Wreck noises)Image result for james dean motorcycle gif
“I felt so helpless, what could I do
Remembering all the things we’d been through?
In town they all stop and stare
I can’t hide the tears, but I don’t care
I’ll never forget him, the leader of the pack
Ooh, the leader of the pack now he’s gone
the leader of the pack now he’s gone
the leader of the pack now he’s goneImage result for james dean motorcycle gif

And I have the Spyder all to my own.”

can am spyder rs 2008 for sale - Buscar con Google

 

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