91. Brains and Potatoes

Bloggerts, this is post # 91. I recently printed out the paper copy of this blog for easy reference and it amassed an amazing 160 pages! My printed blog weighs more than an adult brain, but don’t trust me. Groliers Encyclopedia says the adult brain weighs 14 oz., less than a good-sized baked potatoe. It’s disturbing or awe inspiring, depending on your point of view and medication levels, that a potatoe outweighs an adult human brain. It is not the weight of the brain or the potatoe that matters, though. It’s what you do with each. Some folks fire potatoes out of PVC pipe cannons. I’m not sure why. I suppose it is connected to catapulting pumpkins and Monty Python’s Holy Grail. I believe you can also make vodka out of potatoes. Let’s just dial up an internet recipe unaltered by my human hands.

================================================================           Potato Vodka Making Process

First you need to peel the potatoes, you will need around 1kg of potatoes for a litre of vodka.
Next thing is to chop the potatoes into small pieces, around 1cm cubes should be fine.
Next you will need to use a pressure cooker and put all of the potato cubes in the pot with quite a lot of water, more than enough to cover the potatoes.
Please be careful as pressure cookers are very dangerous if you dont know how to use them then ask someone who does.
Now once the potato is disolved into the water let it cool down and strain the potato leaving loads of potato juice which will become your potato vodka.
The next part is to distill the potato juice and get single distilled vodka. Really you need a distillery but if this is home made then you will need to make a distillery.
Not that difficult really, the basic idea is to heat the juice and capture the steam and collect it which forms your potato vodka.
So you just need to find a big pot, with a lid that connects to a pipe and a container that can collect the vodka.
Once that is complete, you can distill it a few more times using the same process and you will end up with the best and cheapest fall over juice imaginable. But I hold no responsibility for what you do with it. Remeber to drink responsibly.
I love the disclaimer. “Now that I have told you how to destroy your mind, drink responsibly. REMEBER!! just in case you did not meber in the first place.”
Now are you beginning to see how potatoes and the human brain collide, perhaps even altering history in their collision.
Let’s consider Russia. Where would this country be on the world stage if not for vodka consumption?   I think it is safe to say that the collapse of the Soviet Empire came not from outside forces but from liver failure among the millions of drunk soldiers and tank commanders in the late ’80s. They retreated from the pressure cooker of Afghanistan not because of their massive losses but because they ran out of potatoes.
Here’s another bit of lifted material from a Russian Alcohol website.
[And Russians do drink — in public — at any time of the day. Men and women, young and old, buy tiny bottles of hard alcohol at kiosks on their way to work; women push baby carriages with one hand while holding a liter can of beer in the other, and teenagers sit in parks during the middle of the day, drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. It’s not just that people are drinking all the time, everywhere; they want you to drink too, said Becca Dalton, an American expat who teaches English.”I think it’s pretty difficult not to drink in Russia,” Dalton said. “The first year I was here I had a real problem with it because everyone was offering me alcohol everywhere we went. If you refused, everyone looked at you strangely. I worked at school and they would pull me out of class to go and drink champagne and vodka, and then we’d go back and teach again.”]

Imagine the quality of that teaching and learning combination. No small potatoes there.
But on the other side of the latke, there is the problem with human brains. What do you do with yours? Do you exercise and think and speak and create and memorize? Are you laying down neural pathways all the time? Or are you killing off brain cells by reading blogs, facebooking, eating sugar, watching Fox News, smoking, drinking, and generally acting like a slug? Only you can answer these questions. Remeber, think responsibly. Don’t shoot your brain out of a PVC pipe cannon or launch it from a catapult into a pumpkin patch, no matter how cool that may appear.
Instead, comrade bloggerts, keep reading this highly stimulating blog and conquer the world by using your 14 ounces for the good of mankind.

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