71. Glarifyingly


It  has come to my attention that I need to clarify some glarifying sins. Although most of what I write is grounded in reality, not all of it is autobiographical. Some entries like Poisonously and Diddly are not about me. They are compilations of others’ truths. So, you don’t need to comfort me as my buddy Clark did today in our latest phone call.

“Man, I’m sorry about what your uncle did to you.”

“Do you mean the blog entry?”

“Yeah. Pat read it too and just shook her head. She kept saying ‘The poor soul’. We didn’t know.”

“Dude, it’s not my story. I put together some thoughts about such things, what it does to someone’s head. Not my head.”

“Ohhh, good. Oh that’s good.”

I laughed. “This reminds me of the time my obitiuary appeared in the on-line version of our local newspaper. One of my clients called to see if it was true. A doctor  I work with called too. They were both relieved to hear me “live”. That’s what they said anyway. It was some sort of scam to get folks to search for archives of dead folks.”

“Oh good. I’m glad that wasn’t you. Yeah, I know what you mean. My union newsletter did the same thing with me. Instead of reporting my one year retirement anniversary, someone goofed and put me under the deceased column. I was pumping gas one day when Pinky Brown pulled in to the station. He worked with me at GM for years. He said, ‘Man, am I surprised to see you.’ Then he told me about the newsletter.

“I was a bit shocked and baffled.

” I thought about it for a minute. ‘Hey’, I said, ‘not one person called me!’

“He said, ‘Think about it genius, who calls a dead guy to see if he’s dead?'”

“I started laughing and said, ‘Okay, yeah, that’s why.'”

And then we dropped the quoted material and reviewed the sports highlights, Pitt’s troubles, PSU’s miseries, and the state of the world.

If you should come across unquoted stuff, it’s likely autobiographical. If I set it off in quotes, totally in quotes, it’s a compilation of others’ stuff, not mine. Writers are scavengers, afterall… ferrets who gather up what others leave about unattended.

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